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What Is Bullying?

It’s a sad fact that bullying can happen anytime, anywhere and to anyone. Bullying is a broad term that covers many things but can be defined as deliberate hurtful behaviour towards others, this includes

Teasing and abusive remarks / Threats, intimidation and physical violence / Damage to personal property.
Spreading rumours / Hurtful and insulting phone calls, texts messages and emails /Being made isolated from social activities / Making things up to get you in to trouble / Taking friends away from you.

Which Direction views of the Signs of bullying

Symptoms of bullying can vary from person to person; parents may observe their children displaying symptoms that are out of character for their child such as:

Headaches / Irritability / Anxiety / Lacking in confidence / No self worth / Quiet and withdrawn / Isolating, avoids leaving the house / Being moody and bad tempered / Falling out with previously good friends / Unexplained injuries
Torn clothes / Loss of personal belonging.

Children or Adults maybe too embarrassed or scared to tell someone that they are being bullied, if you suspect they are being bullied open up lines of communication with them whatever their age range:

Younger children
Keep conversation simple and age appropriate such as:

What did they do at school? / Did they do anything they liked? / Did they do anything they didn’t like?
Who did they play with? / Are they looking forward to going to school tomorrow? / What sort of games did they play? / Would they like to play with someone else? / How are their friends?

Older children, Youths and Adults
How is school, College, University work going? / How are their friends, mates, and colleagues?
What do they do in their lunch and break times? / What problems or difficulties they are facing?

Adults in positions of authority — parents and teachers, — can often find ways to resolve dangerous bullying problems without the bully ever learning how they found out about it.

If you're in a bullying situation that you think may escalate into physical violence, try to avoid being alone (and if you have a friend in this situation, spend as much time as you can together). Try to remain part of a group by walking home at the same time as other people, colleagues or by sticking close to friends or classmates during the times that the bullying takes place.

Ignore the bully and walk away
Sometimes it can be harder than losing your temper. Bullies thrive on the reaction they get, and if you walk away, or ignore hurtful emails or instant messages, you're telling the bully that you just don't care. Sooner or later the bully will probably get bored with trying to bother you. Walk tall and hold your head high. Using this type of body language sends a message that you're not vulnerable.

Don't get physical
However you choose to deal with a bully, do not use physical force (like kicking, hitting, or pushing). Not only are you showing your anger, you can never be sure what the bully will do in response. You are more likely to be hurt and get in to trouble if you use violence against a bully. You can stand up for yourself in other ways, such as gaining control of the situation by walking away or by being assertive in your actions. Aggressive responses tend to lead to more violence and more bullying for the victims.

Practice ways to respond to the bully verbally or through your behaviour. We can help you Practice feeling good about yourself (even if you have to fake it at first). We will help you Take charge of your life. You can't control other people's actions, but. Think about ways to feel your best and your strongest, the Counsellors or key workers of Which Direction will explore alternative ways to gain confidence and learn new skills and to feel great about yourself. The confidence you gain will help you ignore the bullies.

We are here for you to Talk about it.
It may help to talk to a Which Direction counsellor or key worker who can give you the support you need. Talking can be a good outlet for the fears and frustrations that can build when you're being bullied.

If your child or Adult confides that they are being bullied:
Make a note of what they say, who was involved, where, when and how often / Reassure them they have done the right thing by telling someone and to report any further incidents straight away / Speak to the counselor or key worker about the bullying, giving specific details of what happened, give names, dates and places / Make a note of what action the school; college, work place or university will take / Stay in touch with the school, college, work place or university letting them know if the problems continues or gets better / Find out the schools, college, workplace or university anti-bullying policy

Why do people bully others?

Children or Adults bully for a variety of reasons, they may think their behaviour is normal because they come from families or other settings where everyone regularly gets angry, shouts or call names. Sometimes bullies pick on someone who seems emotionally and physically weaker then them because of peer pressure, wanting to prove their toughness to others. Some bullies are in fact acting out from abuse they have been subjected to at home, not knowing how to deal with their situation they take their feelings out on others.